This question is funny to me, because it assumes I decided.
I write to express the rage, pain, love (because anger can also be a form love), desire, and whirlwind of emotions that life and society puts me through. People assume this means my life is a roller coaster, one that must be written about, and that's not exactly true.
My only way to move forward is to write about it. I have to write through my emotions in order to arrive at the truth. Until I arrive at my truth, I can't move forwards. Writing is simply how I move.
Though I didn't decide to write, I did decide to trust where this road would take me. After putting my poetry on social media for two years, I found that people weren't valuing me. They were expecting to consume me for free. I am a brown skinned Tamil person perceived as a woman, and having my words in print seemed like a seal - a way to secure pay in a racist capitalist world. So that's what I did.
However, the publishing industry is just as racist, if not more, than the social media algorithms (and the people behind them.)
I had my book accepted in Gutslut press, then dropped two weeks before the book release. The reason they gave me was that I didn't sign the contract fast enough (about 8 days), but a deadline was never communicated to me, and it was clear they were using this as an excuse for other reasons, namely colorism.
So again, I find myself launched into the self-publishing world, and though this took me extra time and extra work, I am grateful the spirits rerouted me.
I know I can do better than the mediocre efforts of people who don't believe in my work. I believe in myself because the world doesn't.
I believe in myself because there's no other way. My belief is my survival. My belief is not your inspiration.
Dare, I say - Why does my survival inspire you that much anyway?
~Samirah the Sapphic Siren
se/sem/ser
Samirah the Sapphic Siren
Genre: Poetry
Date of Publication: May 2022
Number of pages: 122
Word Count: 7K
Cover Artist: Ahrabi Raj and Samirah the Sapphic Siren
Tagline: I am not something desired. I am someone who desires.
Book Description:
How do you leverage desire as power when navigating desire comes with navigating colorism and desirability?
Samirah the Sapphic Siren’s poetry deals with that conflict directly then transforms ser societal reality through nature and the other worldly.
CONTENT WARNINGS: Colorism, Patriarchy, Rape. Trauma is not detailed with extreme depth or explicitness, but Samirah does express raw anger and hurt after dealing with them. This is about transforming trauma into anger, and then reconnecting with personal desire. This is not trauma porn.
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Samirah the Sapphic Siren (se/sem/ser) is a nonblack brown skinned Tamil siren who is usually perceived as a woman. For sem, navigating desire comes with navigating colorism, patriarchy, and desirability. Ser poetry deals with that directly then transforms ser societal reality through nature and the other worldly. Se is @theSapphicSiren on instagram and sapphic_siren on twitter.
looks interesting
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